UNEXPECTED DELIVERY from MY ADOPTED MOTHER(fucker)
by Jessica DePue

I recieve four cardboard boxes
Snail mailed from my childhood address
One letter from a person I called "Mom"

A few words in black and white
She typed unsentimental closure
Sent a book by Asshole Schlessinger

Titled "Bad Childhood Good Life"
This after years of absolutely nothing
Not nothing as in happless attempts at something

Nothing as in nodda
Until today's special deliverance
Typed words about returning my possessions

She signs her name no "Love", no "Sincerely"
I contemplate tears over laughter then
An anacdote appears- some copied glib bow

About "Letting It Go" christian style
By the grace of God this woman is entitled
To lasso her high horse and cut me out

Then excuse herself with a cutesy quip
Southern Christians have simplistic consciences
When it comes to reasoning the Lord's way

I absorb this estrangement
Cast from the Southern tip of space
I look up at my man- laugh, squelch hysteria

And suggested we hit the bar to find Gary
Casting his eccentric spells at Mirabell's
I forget my aforementioned rejection slip

We're at Gary's high rise upon La Cientega
Balancing wine bottles nose to nose
If you inhale the spell disintegrates

I'm flooded with a clear glass bottle
Of vodka encasing a pear for amusement
Nobody knows my pain is leaking

Yet I feel something twisted gnawing
My heart is like that intoxicated pear
A fruitful chamber to some toothy worm

I want to smash the glass, bite the pear
I want to poison myself with fermented fruit
Feel its juices interogate my liver

I want to slam my body against the tub
I want to fall asleep ass up
Half way into bed

I'm taking punches from Texas
I'm slammed, contorted against the can
Whailing "I'm dying- I'm not- but I am,"

I've done it to myself
The cold tiles press chill into my cheek
I'm frozen
I'm dying and trying so hard
To let it go